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This is largely a factor of not being able to trust—yourself, others, or the universe. A very lonely place to be, where “If I want it done right, I’ll do it myself,” becomes “If I want the world to still be here when I wake up tomorrow morning, I’ll have to do everything myself.” Do you ever feel like that? People who tend towards codependency often:• repeatedly attract unstable and toxic relationships• remain in unhealthy relationships, feeling anxious and trying to conform to the partner’s wishes and fluctuating demands• sacrifice health and well-being for others• live an unfulfilled life, suffering from feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, or numbness• are unable to find satisfaction in life outside of a specific person or relationship (and usually not even there)• loss of identity Third: how can you change a codependent relationship? Hire a life coach or counselor who is familiar with codependency, find a twelve step group like Codependents Anonymous (Co DA), or seek out an accountability partner—a friend who will help you hold the line. There are some things you can do on your own, though. (When you know you are good enough, you do not need external proof. If you have been programmed to shut yourself out of the equation, you can learn to see yourself clearly, recognize what you want and need, and then communicate that plainly.• Fear.You do not need to “earn points” by saving someone else.)• Denial: Of your core self. If you are very vulnerable to fear—of being alone, rejected, or abandoned, for instance—you are not operating from a place of strength.If your desire to be in a relationship trumps your desire to be happy and healthy in that relationship, you are probably being guided by fear.(When you realize you are okay, in fact, that you are wonderful and worthy, you will understand that you do not have to lose yourself to hold onto someone else.)• Craving for affection and acceptance. We all desire to be accepted, but:• If you become obsessed with your relationship or with what you can “do” to gain or retain one, you are losing sight of you.• If you sacrifice your Self to feel loved and accepted, the hole inside you will never really fill up.• If you have to jump through hoops to please, or appease, your partner in order to be accepted…Source: Shutterstock Most relationships tend to bring out the selflessness in people.
A codependent often (not always) has a very hard time making a decision.At its core, codependency is a dysfunctional relationship with yourself. Often, the children of alcoholics, the mentally ill, or people with narcissistic tendencies or borderline personality disorders grow up as codependents.Not knowing how to love yourself in healthy ways is an essential and underlying cause of codependency. Not much, other than exhaustion and the hopeless feeling that no matter how hard he tries, it will never be enough. They, by default, are required to take care of the struggling parent, and a pattern emerges.The experts define codependency as a pattern of behavior in which you find yourself excessively dependent on someone else for approval. Controlling and/or constantly appeasing the other person in the relationship (i.e.Fragile self-worth results in a shaky sense of self. ” becomes a burning uncertainty, though not on a conscious level.• Seeking to feel worthy, a codependent person makes extreme sacrifices to satisfy a partner’s needs.• Seeking a sense of identity, a codependent begins to define his or herself via the other. the parent, or later, the partner) allows the codependent to feel useful and less vulnerable to the very real chaos of his or her life.